Bones sinking like stones,
All that we fought for,
Homes, places we've grown,
All of us are done for

And we live in a beautiful world,
Yeah we do, yeah we do,
We live in a beautiful world

Bones sinking like stones,
All that we fought for,
Homes, places we've gone,
All of us are done for

We live in a beautiful world,
Yeah we do, yeah we do,
We live in a beautiful world

Oh, all that I know
There's nothing here to run from,
'Cos yeah, everybody here's got somebody to lean on

I've come back. It's been a long hiatus.

Okay so it's been awhile since I've really posted.

Alot has been going on in my life recently. Then end of Einstein's. The Clearing. Finals.
And I got an internship this summer.

In Winchester, Va at Shenandoah University. Where I'll be doing carpentry, scenic painting, proping, as well as running the shows.
Awesome right?
Yeah, but I'm leaving the 14 of May and I won't be back until August 7th.
In other words, I'll be gone all summer. Barely back in time to make it to my sister's wedding.

And as exciting as it is. It makes me a little sad. I won't get to hang out with my friends all summer. Things are finally going pretty well for me and David, and I hate that I won't get to see him since we've been getting along so well. And I'm nervous. Scared I'll do something wrong, and get fired or sometihng. Yeah, that one's a little far-fetched. The truth is, I've never been that far away from home for that long of a time. I'm just going to miss everyone so much.

But I think the pros far out way the cons.
I mean Lizzie and Jonz will be up there with me, so I'll already know people.
Getting away from Collierville, is exactly what I need to do. I mean I love it here. I just get so restless. I've needed a change of scenery.
I won't be bored over the summer, that's for sure. And that's what had worried me the most about this summer. Boredom. Funny how I never really saw myself staying here this summer.
I'll learn how to balance my budget.
I might actually get into better shape.
I'll spend a summer away from a t.v. Read more. Paint more.

I feel, especially since I lucked into this, as though this is where I'm suppose to be this summer. I'm not sure why yet. But I think God wanted me to be there this summer. Because, no lie I was a day away from registering for summer classes when Jonz told me they had a position open becasue an intern backed out and he told me to give the guy a call. I mean that's destiny.

So as scared as I am. I'm excited too. Probably more excited than nervous. Because I have a good feeling about it all, and I tihnk this summer is going to be important.

Hmmm...cleaning my room. A little depressing I must confess. Already I feel like I've wasted most of today

But overall, I'm pretty content with life.
Things are starting to go well.

Knock on wood.

Really don't want to write a stupid paper. Must procrastinate as long as possible.

In a great mood. Totally kicked at auditions. Now I just have to be busy as hell until the end of time.
Or meet with Carrie. Eat with Julia. Do light hang stuff. And stay here until the end of time.

Good thing I slept through Sociology. What?! I needed it.

It's been a good day.
It's looks like it'll be fun.
Becasue I actually have energy! Yay!

I'm not depressed. Yay!

I don't feel like killing anyone...yet. Yay!

Hope everyone else is having as unique a day as I am.

Finally, I'm getting somewhere.

Yesterday was rough. Really it was. Cried to my mom for like thirty minutes when I got home yesterday from rehearsal. But I think by the end of the night it was one of the best times I've had in awhile.

So I got to hang out with Jennifer and Morgan, they kidnapped me actually, which was so much fun! Seriously. The best time I've had in awhile. And we hung out with these two guys Jen knows. Randy and Allan. Poor. Poor Randy. He got made fun of so much. But it was great. Everytime he did something stupid at cards he'd hit himself in the head. So finally I went and got a helmet and fastened it on his head. It's a good thing too. Because a few moments later, he was so mad he turned back and busted his head on the rocking chair. I totally saved his life by giving him that helmet. Lol.

And man, Allan totally kicked my ass in the cart wheel contest. He did it one handed. How was I suppose to compete with that. So now I owe him a batch of cookies. I guess I'll bring by Friday since I'm planning on going to noon-day with Jennifer. And the gold stars, which he promised to save.

But it was really so much fun. And all of a sudden I was like, I can do this. I can make friends with new people pretty easily. And I have a feeling I won't be alone too very long. Maybe awhile. But not too long. Hehehe. And that makes me happy. I have something to look forward to again.

Went to church this morning. Actually, it was really nice. Figured out that if I had just a little more faith. I could totally preach. I'd be really good at it. Thinking about finding a good church to go to. Then I went swinging and out to Zaxby's for lunch. Rehearsal got canceled for tonight. God Bless America. So I'll study a little. And then I'm definitely going to watch Sense and Sensibility. And go for a walk.

Just in a really good mindset thought I'd update.

...I'm soaring the sky
I can hear the birds and man they don't lie
How you gonna catch me, when I'm this high

I'm moving on
I got the words to a brand new song
How you gonna catch me, when I'm this gone...

I feel like my life is my own again.
I did all that I could for him.

...I sure would love to see you tonight
Maybe try to end this fight
If I don't hear you knockin' on my door
Then I'll know for sure

Gone tomorrow here today
Just in case you got somethin' to say
I'll be leaving with the rest if
Goodbye is all we have...

He won't be knockin' on my door. I already know.
And honestly, I think goodbye is all we have.
I wish the song could be heard though. It's not bitter or sad.
Just kind of accepting. Ready to start again.
Ready for new beginnings.

...how you gonna catch me, when I'm this gone.

It's a nasty day outside, but my heart is light. It might as well be sunny.

I have to finish the prompt book, and get ready for rehearsal, but I, being the dork that I am, have found a way to make it bearable.

Can we say Jane Austen FEST...Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, and Emma. All for my viewing pleasure.
I love those movies.

Overall, there's a sense of promise in my life again. No more frustration and confusion. No more holding on to something that's not there.

Spring is here. I have so many plans. So much to do. But I don't feel empty. I feel released. Like a bird from it's cage, soaring through the sky

...how you gonna catch me, when I'm this high.

But I have to thank Morgan. Seriously, I've never met a truer friend. Came all the way down to Collierville, to help me through this. Knowing she'd most likely get in trouble for it(which consequently she did.) But it has meant the world to me. Because I don't think I would be as okay as I am, if I hadn't had her here. She reminded me how much I'm still cared for, and that the best is still yet to come.
You'll never know how much it means to me.

But, here's to new beginnings.

Let's see. I've had a pretty nice, eventful weekend. Yesterday was a lot of fun. I'm improving at Dead or Alive 4, which isn't really saying much. Have a sneaking suspicion David is just going easy on me when we play. Mainly the two of us ran around doing errands all day. Totally got nailed with a snowball on more than one occassion, but I got some good hits in myself. Lara and Logan came to hang out. Played some more video games, actually more like watched some more video games. Then I went to Amy's. She really hasn't been feeling to well. Went to sleep as soon as we got home. Poor thing. I've been waiting on her. Wouldn't be so bad I think if Jeremy wasn't gone for so long. Today I have work and rehersal. Damn. Oh well.

I'm so excited!! My sister is engaged. YAY! For Katie.